Which type of love is a combination of passion intimacy and commitment over time quizlet?

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- top 4 characteristics: mutual attraction (love), dependable, emotional stability/maturity, and pleasing disposition
- men: higher on physical appeal
- women: higher on ambition/economic potential

- in colonial times, americans agreed to marry more or less by arrangement in order to gain a partner to enhance economic and social success and produce children to carry on one's legacy
- being in love was not considered a real reason to enter into marriage until the 1800s
- in the early to mid-1960s, about one third of the men and three fourths of the women surveyed indicated that being in love was not a necessity for marriage
- by the mid-1980s, this had changed; all but about 15% of the men and women now said that passionate love was a necessary prerequisite for marriage. this change in attitude, mostly by women, was attributed to better economic status—financial independence allowed people to make relationship decisions based on romance.
- most women are in monogamous marriages (that is, they have only one husband, regardless of how many wives that husband may have).
- the number of marriageable men and women in most contemporary societies is roughly equal, which leaves very few "extra" women available for men who desire a polygynous marriage. the increased financial and social responsibilities that come with having multiple wives (and offspring) make it hard for most men to successfully sustain polygynous relationships.
- arranged marriages are also common in other Asian and also Middle Eastern societies. In these cultures, love is not an essential feature of the marriage contract—a nice perk, possibly, if you can get it, but not a necessary condition in choosing a suit-able mate.
- no, love-based marriages aren't restricted to the United States and other Western, individualistic cultures
- there was no country in which people were completely willing to marry in the absence of love. sizeable numbers of men and women in every country reported that they would not enter a loveless marriage.nMen: higher on physical appeal
nWomen: higher on ambition/economic potential

- The state of loving another person; a sturdy, affectionate love that develops over time and is based on closeness, intimacy, and commitment.
- combination of altruistic love, attachment, and friendship.
- often felt for a variety of partners (including lovers, friends, family members, and even pets) at any given time.
- on average, students listed nine "love" partners and only one "in love" partner
- romantic relationships based on companionate love often contain a warm, satisfying sexual component as well.
- partners with high amounts of companionate love for each other often report an equally high degree of sexual intimacy—that is, they communicate openly and honestly about their sexual feelings and enjoy a satisfying sexual relationship
- a much hardier experience than passionate love and may grow stronger over time because it is grounded in intimacy processes (including caring, understanding, commitment, and attachment) that take time to ripen and fully mature
- what one partner says, feels, does, or thinks has a direct impact on the other partner.

- Some scientists believe that romantic relationships may even progress in a linear fashion from passionate love to companionate love.
- Sternberg suggested, "Most romantic love relationships that do, in fact, survive eventually turn into companionate love relation-ships: the passion begins to melt, but the intimacy remains. Passion may be replaced over time by long-term and deeply felt commitment"
- Many married and dating couples report that their levels of passionate love decline the longer they are together, but that their feelings of companionate love stay high or grow even stronger
- companionate lovers report warm feelings of trust, intimacy, affection and friendship, caring, mutual respect and tolerance, loyalty, supportiveness and concern, and other positive emotions

- The two most important characteristics were "dependable character" and "emotional stability." Less important features included "similar political back-ground" (unimportant to both men and women), "good cook/housekeeper" (unimportant to women), and "good financial prospect" (unimportant to men).
- Men and women today continue to emphasize characteristics related to a good overall personality and dependable character (such as expressiveness and open-ness, friendliness and sociability, emotional stability, hon-esty and trustworthiness, and a sense of humor). They also desire someone who possesses attributes reflecting a sound intellect (intelligence, educational status), and who is phys-ically appealing (that is, who is physically attractive and healthy looking)
- When it comes to friendship, people emphasize the same basic set of dispositional attributes they do in a roman-tic partner. Studies find that both men and women desire a friend who has a great deal of the following characteristics, in order of importance: sense of humor, expressiveness and openness, warmth and kindness, exciting personality, and intelligence
- we focus on attributes that reflect responsiveness and the ability to provide social and emotional support. Without them, any relationship is unlikely to survive for long.

- One of the most important factors in promoting the development and continued health of a relationship is how the partners communicate with each other.
- plays a pivotal role in the formation and maintenance of close relationships
- As two people draw closer together and become more committed to their relationship, they gradually increase the depth (degree of intimacy) and breadth (number or variety of areas) of their mutual disclosures
- partners who self-disclose, who view each other as self-disclosing, and who believe that their disclosures and confidences are understood, validated, and accepted by each other experience high levels of satisfaction, closeness, love, and commitment
- Clearly, reciprocal and responsive disclosures that contribute to feelings of intimacy—mutual perceptions of understanding, caring, and validation—help encourage and sustain the growth of a relationship.
- "Positive" conflict solving strategies are associated with good outcomes. Partners who resolve their disagreements with reason, assertion, and partner support have happier relationships than people who do not use these strategies
- "negative" strategies experience distress and dissatisfaction. Negative strategies include coercion, manipulation, and avoidance

- acceptance of one another and understanding of each other's behavior are essential characteristics of love relationships.
- As hard as we sometimes are on ourselves, we are often harder on our partners because they are not everything we want them to be.
- Some scholars believe that positive illusions about the partner can keep us in a relationship when times get tough because they promote the belief that the partner is a good person and that the relationship is meant to be and will survive
- Other scholars believe that having an accurate, unbiased view of the partner, warts and all, is the key to having a happy, healthy relationship
- both perspectives are correct: realistic idealism—that is, acceptance of the partner for who he or she really is, coupled with an idealized overall view of the relationship—is most important
- We are most happy, and our relationships are healthiest, when we have a realistic knowledge of the partner's most important attributes (good and not-so-good) but maintaina highly positive, idealized view of his or her overall char-acter and of our love.

- relationships develop best when two people self-disclose to one another at about the same time, at about the same depth, on a similar topic, and with mutual responsiveness
- Successful resolution requires,
+ first, that each partner communicate openly and honestly with the other.
+ second, the partners must remember to stay focused on the issue at hand
+ third, each partner should try to understand the other's perspective
+ fourth, the partners should maintain eye contact to show that they are engaged in the conversation and actively listening to each other, and try to express positive feelings
+ Finally, partners must be realistic and fair and aim for an equitable solution rather than a win-lose one. We must be willing to compromise.

- breaking up is one of life's most painful experiences.
- breakup process:
1. obsessive review: One thing that almost everyone engages in during a breakup, a "constant, absorbing, someimes maddening preoccupation that refuses to accept any conclusion. can be useful if it helps prevent breakups in future relationships.
2. emotional and social loneliness: emotionally: feel isolated, missing your ex-partner and everything that he or she brought to your life. socially: Friends you had in common with your ex-partner may have to choose sides or, because they feel awkward, may avoid both of you.
3. ex-partner is still around: If you are the one who was left, he or she is a constant reminder of the rejection. if you are the one who broke off the relationship, your ex may be telling everyone how much you are to blame. Part of the process, then, is trying to "save face"

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